10 THINGS I’VE LEARNED SINCE BECOMING A MOM

It’s been six months since our baby boy was born and I thank God every day for our little Oliver. A lot has changed since I first saw that beautiful plus sign on the pregnancy test, and I feel like I’ve learned a lot since then. So, I thought it would be fun to share the little pieces of knowledge I’ve picked up along the way.

My entire life changed on Friday, October 6, 2017. I decided to take a pregnancy test, completely expecting it to be negative. I’ve taken a few before, and negative became the expected outcome. But this time was different.

PREGNANT.

It wasn’t one of those plus or minus tests… it really did say “PREGNANT”. My knees buckled and tears of joy (and fear) started pouring out.

Throughout my pregnancy I was terrified. Was I doing everything right? Was the baby OK? Why the hell am I so freaking gassy and bloated all the time?! Will I be a good mom? How will this change my relationship with my husband? Has mango always tasted this damn good?! How many pickles is too many pickles? When are my boobs going to stop growing?!

Then, Ollie was finally born and everything flipped upside down… but in a good way. I was a mama now. I had entered the club I had been wanting to be part of for so long… and I was terrified.

As elated as I was (and still am) there was still a lot to learn. I thought since I had four younger siblings and had been a babysitter/full-time nanny for a number of families before this would be a cakewalk. WRONG!!!

In an attempt to help other mamas out there (and mamas-to-be) I thought it would be nice to write about what I’ve learned along the way.

Here goes…

HORMONES DON’T INSTANTLY NORMALIZE AFTER BIRTH

I thought that my emotions would be normal about a week after birth. NO!!! I was a crazy lady for about two months after. Then, I was only half crazy for another two months. I’m still somewhat crazy, but that’s my baseline so it’s all good. Honestly though… it took about four months until I started feeling more like myself.

Society always seems to talk about the “bounce back” in terms of post pregnancy bodies. No one really talks about the bounce back from the emotional hormonal rollercoaster you go through. Your body takes 10 months (yeah… not nine!) to grow a little human. It’s going to take time adjusting to having that human outside of your body as well. Don’t rush it! Give yourself a break.

THE AFTER-BIRTH ADRENALINE

It’s awesome. At one point I realized that I had only had about 4 hours of sleep in three days… but I felt amazing! I thought, “I’VE GOT THIS MOM THING ON LOCK!” That adrenaline wore off after about two months. Then, I started to hit a wall. Everyone said, “sleep when they sleep”, but that wasn’t really an option for me. We decided to really make an effort to sleep train Ollie at around three months, and it made all the difference! I highly recommend it. I still wish I could tap into that postpartum adrenaline. I got so much done!

MOM BRAIN IS VERY REAL

The other day I forgot the word “refrigerator”. I also forgot my dentist appointment, a coffee meeting, and about 6 other things that I had on my calendar. My brain is filled with keeping track of nap schedules, eating times and anything else baby related. I can’t remember what I had for breakfast, but I can tell you every single time of Ollie’s first nap for the past 5 days.

EVERYTHING YOUR BABY DOES IS AMAZING

I told myself I wasn’t going to be that mom, but I am SO that mom. Every little thing he does, every milestone he hits, every little giggle he gives is the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen or heard. He is the center of my universe and the coolest little human around!

POOP TALK IS SO INTENSE

For the first three months I felt like all Mike and I did was talk about Ollie’s poop. The consistency, the color, how often he did it. It was intense. Note to self: no one else cares about your baby’s poop except you and your partner (and maybe grandparents).

BREASTFEEDING IS NOT AS EASY AS YOU’D THINK

I’m actually going to do a whole post on our breastfeeding journey because there is a lot more to say on this subject than I can write in this particular post. But, I want all you new mamas out there to know that it isn’t as “natural” as you’d think. There are so many factors that come into play other than latching. Production, overproduction, pumping, leakage, it’s all very complicated. You’re not alone in the struggle!

THE LEVEL OF LOVE IS UNREAL

I really have never known love like this before. It’s the strongest pull I’ve ever felt in my entire life. How interesting would it be if scientists could measure this? I’d bet anything that it would be stronger than gravity or anything else that you could mathematically measure in the universe. I love my family and husband, but a love between a mother and her child is something you really can’t put into words.

WIPE THE NECK AFTER FEEDINGS

Seriously… if you don’t their neck folds trap that milk and it STANKS! Ollie is a clean eater so we don’t need bibs (yet) but I always try and wipe down his neck after feedings. Soured breastmilk is such a gross smell. We can’t give Ollie baths every night because his skin is so dry (thanks Vegas), but I still wipe down his neck and head before bed to keep that “baby” smell going strong 🙂

TARGET IS A VACATION

For real. I love it. Ollie loves it. Target is legit my favorite place right now. It’s like a mini vacation that Ollie and I take together and we find things we both want, nay…need. I talk to him the entire time and ask him if he likes XYZ. If he smiles I take that as a yes. If he doesn’t smile, I make a fart noise until he does give me the smile and then I put whatever I’m holding in the cart.

YOU ARE YOU… BUT DIFFERENT

I’ve said this before, and really can’t describe it any other way. In the beginning it was like Old Lindsey and New Lindsey were in a constant battle. Old Lindsey wants to be out of the house, taking trips to create new content and really enjoys staying up late. New Lindsey is a homebody who knows every nursery rhyme, is a stickler for nap time, showers at 4pm and can barely stay up past 11pm. Thankfully, the two have learned how to co-exist. This takes time.

RELATIONSHIPS CHANGE

First of all, relationships with parents change. You now finally understand the level of love they have for you, because you feel it with your own child.

Relationships with friends change as well. Thankfully, most of our friends are trying to start families or have started them already, so we didn’t lose many. But, I know it’s common for people to take different paths and some people just aren’t that into babies or the life you start to live once you have them. Don’t worry too much about it. If they’re good friends, they’ll stick around.

My biggest fear was that my husband and I would become distanced after the baby. And guess what? That happened. But, only temporarily. After Ollie was born I was his only source of food and his biggest comfort. He was my only priority. My husband is an angel and understood this, though I know it was difficult for him. Once we were able to introduce a bottle and Mike could take part in that bonding things started to change. Now we are stronger than ever and our love is that much deeper. Which brings me to my next point…

DATE NIGHTS ARE GOLD

A little while after Ollie was born and we had things somewhat under control, Mike’s mom recommended that we go on a date night. I was so nervous that she ended up giving us updates all night long. I felt so guilty the next day I cried. As time goes on I realize how important these date nights are. It brings my husband and I closer together and is also a big stress reliever. We try and do a date night once per month – and it has been AMAZING for our relationship. I follow other mama bloggers on Instagram and they’ve also been talking about how they encourage date nights and how important it is for a healthy marriage. Mom guilt is real… but I no longer feel guilty about spending one on one time with my husband. Happy parents = happy baby.

GETTING READY IS GOING TO TAKE LONGER

I have to give myself an extra 30 minutes before leaving the house with Ollie. Packing that diaper bag and making sure you have everything necessary is time consuming. Also, if you forget an extra blanket or a pair of socks, don’t beat yourself up. There’s always a Target close by 🙂

THE UNSOLICITED ADVICE

I’m actually still trying to learn how to deal with this. After receiving an influx of unsolicited advice both in real life and via social media it started to make me feel like I wasn’t a good mom. I felt like I was failing and doing something wrong. And this was just over stupid stuff like bibs and binkys!

My husband gave me some great advice and I’ll share that with you. Keep in mind that you know your baby better than anyone else in the world. If someone says something critical, try to brush it off. If you can lay your head on your pillow at night knowing that you’ve done everything in the best interest for your baby then you’re good.

Unsolicited advice is going to happen, but criticism is something I won’t tolerate. If someone is criticizing you for something you know is right for your baby, I don’t see anything wrong in sticking up for your decision.

THE GREATEST COMPLIMENT

It’s not going to be over your outfit or your hair anymore. The greatest thing anyone could ever tell you is that you’re doing a great job as a mother. It’s the ULTIMATE compliment.

I honestly could go on and on, but I’ll stop for now. I feel like I learn something new every day, and I hope that continues. I honestly have so much more respect for all the mamas out there. I didn’t realize everything you went through until I was one myself. Mamas are the beez-neez!!!!

Thank you all so much for reading. You’re the best!

P.S. Any pieces of knowledge you’ve gained since becoming a mama? I’d love to know! Leave a comment and fill me in 🙂

Love, Lindsey